Google Gulp!

Egads! When will Google’s innovation find its end?!

As if GMail and Google maps weren’t enough, Google today introduces their first drink: Google Gulp, the first drink so technologically advanced that it requires its own privacy policy.

That’s right, the bottles are equipped with a wireless transmitter that sends information back to Google’s servers about your drinking experience: how much you drink, how often you drink, the flavors you drink. This is all designed to provide you with a better drinking experience.

I’ve heard from some of my inside contacts that the wrapper is made of a special LCD cellophane that can serve up Google text ads based on the flavor you’re drinking, how fast you drink, and your proximity to a McDonald’s.

The downside is that Google Gulp isn’t readily available to everyone. Like GMail, the drink is in its beta stages and is available by “invitation” only. However, to pick up a bottle of this refreshing drink, just beg your friends for a Gulp Cap (a Google Gulp bottle cap), and present the bottle cap at your local grocery store, who will then allow you to enjoy this outrageously brilliant drink.

UPDATE: I currently have 50 Gulp Caps to give away. The first 50 people to leave a comment here get one!

APRIL 4th UPDATE: Well, the 50th comment mark has been reached, and I really hate to inform you all of this, but Google Gulp was so good that I used all 50 of my Gulp Caps on myself. Sorry, but it’s just that good – really. I suggest that you go ask the manager at your local grocery store for one; I hear they keep the Google Gulps in the back of the store with the hoverboards.